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Adulthood is not my favorite thing. It’s not like I haven’t been trying. I did college, I found a job, now I bought a house. I’ve been crossing things off that adulting to-do list like a pro. Surely one of them has to make me feel like a grown up. Eventually. My new hotter-than-anyone-deserves-to-be neighbor is definitely a grown up. A grown up with a square jaw and massive forearms, who takes homeownership very seriously.

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